Ever notice how we can be kinder to strangers than to ourselves? What if curiosity replaced judgment?
Curiosity sounds simple, but neurologically, it’s transformative.
- Self-criticism puts the brain in threat mode (fight/flight/freeze).
- Curiosity puts the brain in learning mode (open, observant, compassionate).
When you get curious, you move from saying things like “I should be handling this better” to “What is happening for me right now, and what do I need?”
Curiosity allows for growth.
Shame keeps you feelings stuck.
What curiosity sounds like –
Instead of judging yourself right off the bat, try these questions instead:
- “What emotion is underneath this reaction?”
- “What is this part of me afraid will happen?”
- “What do I need right now?”
- “Is there a gentler way to talk to myself?”
These questions aren’t excuses, they are keys to greater understanding and perspective.
Try one of the following reframes today –
- Replace one “I should” thought with “I wonder…”
- Notice one physical sensation in your body and ask, “What is this feeling trying to tell me?
- Catch a frustrated thought and ask, “What need is under this feeling?”
- Notice a moment of self-criticism and replace it with, “I’m allowed to feel this and grow from it.”
- Replace a “Why am I like this?” thought with, “What part of me needs attention?”
- Replace one “I shouldn’t be angry” thought with: “What is my anger trying to communicate?”
A gentle reminder –
It’s okay to feel what you are feeling.
Notice, don’t judge.
Get curious. Be gentle. Flourish.
